celebutarded

1

Another damn sighting of the blonde socialite. I was in the same club last night as David Beckham but did I get to lay my eyes on him? No. But running errands in Beverly Hills I ran into a little flock of black-clad photographers circling the entrance of a jewelry store, backpedaling and whirring and flashing away as the socialite and her best-friend-of-the-moment emerged with the air of royalty on parade. “Excuse me,” I said irritably to one photog, as he nearly stepped on my foot.

2

Out last night with actress friend A. We had dinner plans and then A. wanted to know if I’d mind going to some kind of party at club Area (where, hours later, I would not see the lovely Beckham). A.’s friend Seth, one of the talents behind the show Family Guy, had a car and driver for the night so I left my car at the restaurant and both of us joined Seth in the back of his. While I drifted in and out of my own thoughts, I heard Seth and A. talk about some kind of party being held for one of those MTV reality shows I would rather poke my eyes out than watch.

“That sounds terrible,” I said without thinking, and A. looked at me and laughed.

“You’re on your way to it. That’s the event we’re going to right now.”

If life was an ’80s sitcom, that’s the moment I would have said: open mouth, insert foot.

Sure enough, the red carpet was set up and photographers were in place and the celebs were culled from the commoners (as someone there observed, “ah, yes, the division of church and state”). While Seth and A. posed for photographs, several of us wondered how to get from point A to point B without being too awkward about it — dash behind them, dash in front of them, continue to stand there like idiots? What is the etiquette of these things? Someone waved us over to the non-red-carpet entrance, dark and humble yet still involving the unclicking of a velvet rope, and the problem was solved.

3

In the car, talk arose of my Notorious Neighbor. A. and I told Seth how we despise elements of the man’s business yet find the man himself charming, warm and generous. Seth was perplexed. “So you’d actually call this guy a friend?”

I joked, “Dealing with him is like…You kind of lower yourself to his level, but by doing that you transcend it.” Which makes no sense, of course, but this is Los Angeles.

A. brightened and said “Yes, that’s exactly it!”

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