Handed in revised ms. for my book UNINVITED (MTV Books/Sept 2007) at 2 am this morning and, wow, just feeling kind of humbled and brutalized. When the writing is in front of me, I have faith in it — in most of it — but as soon as it’s out of my hands the mindgame begins, the self-doubt and the, Do I even really know what the hell I’m doing? Which, I know, is just par for the course — fatigue and insecurity and ego and the realities of the art itself — and you wait it out like a bad spell of weather. You just reach a point where you have to accept the end shape of the book, the fact that the book will be what it will be. Some people will like it (hopefully enough to enable a career). Some people won’t (hopefully they don’t like to post stuff online. Or know how…). But you are flawed, therefore your book will be flawed, and your ego is just going to have to live with that. But the courage and confidence to make that flawed thing and send it out there…comes and goes.
Such is life. I’ll feel better after sleep.
On more cheerful note, my editor sent me the cover for the book and I adore it. She didn’t email me a jpeg, like I was expecting, because she wanted me “to see the pantone chip”. I had no idea what the hell that was. The fed-ex came yesterday.
And the cover kicks ass. (“We love, love, LOVE this cover in-house, and hope you agree.” I do. I can’t stop looking at it.) When I get the final version (there’s still some tinkering going on with the fonts) I’ll post an image here. In meantime, will describe:
Front cover is white with an abstract arabesque pattern (meant to suggest the protective-rune tattoos one character has all over his upper body) which will be done in this really cool silvery metallic material (hence the ‘Pantone chip’ which turns out to be a sample of this, like a paint sample).
The title — UNINVITED — and author name in stark black font.
Below that, this small silhouette of a man with wings, walking into the distance.
I love that little guy. I want the action doll.