This is hilarious.
My experience with Shakespearean acting: during high school I won the local and regional divisions of a Shakespeare drama competition while on exchange in Australia, I’ll have you know, and then back home my senior year in English class I got to act out the sword-fighting scene between Hamlet and Laertes (the teacher ran the drama club). I was Hamlet. I had a sword — okay, it was some kind of long ruler type thing, we’re talking a minimalist front-of-the-classroom set here — and got to do a choreographed sword fight that had me leaping up and off chairs, and then of course I died at the end. Along with pretty much everybody else.