the blog sits and ponders itself

I am pondering the future of this blog.

In truth, I have never done this before. Thought about my blog, I mean, in terms of direction and planning and goal-setting and whatnot, or in any way beyond just showing up at livejournal to work out some half-baked idea in my head.

I started writing this blog for no real reason except to write it — sure, there was this vague thing about promoting my novels, and this other vague thing about an inside look at the publishing process…but more than that I wanted a chance to observe the places and people* around me, cast them into written language, see what happened, how long I’d keep at it.

Also, I have a compulsion to write my way through my life that this blog seems to satisfy in a way that fiction or private journals or abnormally long emails just don’t. Why this is, I’ve no idea — but the need to make this kind of narrative is very much a physical itch as well as psychological, and follows the same cycle of satiation, build-up, increasing tension, explosive pressure, release & relief — satiation, build-up, increasing tension, explosive pressure, release & relief — and so on, rinse and repeat — as any addiction.***

I couldn’t even call this thing a blog in the beginning…it was strictly the online journal of Justine Musk. And whenever someone referred to me as a blogger, I’d fight the urge to glance over my shoulder to see who they were really talking about.

But it turns out I love to blog. It’s been, and continues to be, an experience rich with unexpected pleasures. And since I now know I’ll be doing this for a long time to come, it’s a goal of 2009 to take it a little more seriously (but not too seriously — never anything too seriously) and let this blog grow up a bit, help it find its purpose, get married and have children, make a contribution to society…You get the idea.

So feedback would be cool.

If you have any thoughts on what you enjoy, what you’d like to see more of, directions you’d like to see this blog explore, subject matter that particularly interests you, advice, opinions, general wit and pithiness — or if you’d just like to drop a line about why the hell you even read me in the first place — I’d love to hear from you through the comments section or email address soulful@games.com. If you have a Blackberry, you could even invite me to chat (that’s how it works, right?). Email me for my PIN. Since I am notoriously bad when it comes to any phone-related manner of communication, if I ignore you don’t take it personally (unless you truly are being an ass). I’ve probably just misplaced the damn cell.

* Travel writing, in particular the remarkable nonfiction of Paul Theroux, a huge influence here.

** And anyone who knows my situation knows that I don’t have to worry about squeezing money from my writing, but anyone who gets paid anything at all for creative work knows that the check is so much more than just the money. Which tends to be crappy anyways.

*** I’m also addicted to exercise, and it works exactly the same way — if I go too long without the gym (just walking around, which I do a great deal of, doesn’t count), I get edgy and agitated, unable to sit still. Exercise, like writing, calms and settles me. The brain is a quirky thing.

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