Writer’s Block: You Wouldn’t Understand

In my early twenties I went through a period where I would sometimes end my speech with “and so”.

“….made a pass at my boyfriend when they were out on the deck looking at the moon and I was in the living room with her boyfriend, to whom I was enormously attracted but didn’t do anything, maybe because he seemed kind of terrified.” I would wait a moment for that to sink in, and then, to close it all off: “And so.”

By that I meant a version of Whatever, except nuanced with a shrugging, je ne sais quoi, Isn’t it all so absurd , and perhaps a touch of Aren’t we the clever ones. Some occasions called for Whatever, and others for something a little more sophisticated, a little more arch.

All of which I felt to be perfectly clear to others — and to this day I have no idea why — until my best friend/roommate heard me say it one time too many.

She did what any normal person would do.

She lost it.

“You say that all the time! You say ‘and so’…and then you say… nothing! When a person says, ‘and so’, it’s supposed to lead to something else! It connects one part of language to another part! But you just leave me hanging, until I realize I’m standing there listening to you say nothing because you are actually done saying anything at all!

I decided she might have a point.

And so.

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